Email Response From a Druid to an Applicant

Hi what’s up your brother said you wanted to talk to me about being a druid. That’s fine and everything but I hope he told you it takes 20 years and you can’t just like do it with no brain okay. You have to memorize 320 stories. And they aren’t little they’re long okay. And you have to be able to weave them together and make harmonies okay. That’s what they ask you to do and it is not easy and for example I am not yet a druid full out I am still in training which I think is crap but that is just my opinion and clearly no one else agrees okay or else I would be a full druid which is obvious. Also this is not an okay alphabet they don’t use this one. They use a stick and put marks on it that is their alphabet and you can’t say things like “that is stupid use letters” or “I have a better idea” because apparently after 20 years of learning stories you don’t want to hear that which I learned the hard way trust me. Don’t say stick there’s a name for it I can’t remember and you square it off. Anyway you can’t write things down if you thought “oh I can learn those stories fast I’ll write them down and then boom I am done I am a druid.” I tried that too okay and you can’t do it because if you study stories for 20 years and know how to harmonize then you don’t want to write them down which if you ask me is going to make us stagnate and then be irrelavent but again like I said after you are done studying you are not interested in this opinion which I have learned as I said previously. So anyway yeah there are a bunch of perks and no we are not savages etc like they want you to think but I can’t lie and say listening to stories is amazing and the old druids can be kind of facist for example getting mad for reasons I do not understand or feel pertain to my harmonization attempts and so forth but they are mad and teaching me the hard way which they really like to do. So yeah we all will be of one mind after 20 years which they really like but for example I am not the type of person who finds this of upmost importance but I am not you like your brother pointed out to me midway through our conversation regarding this so do what you feel yes there is ritual sex but I haven’t had any yet.