The Break Up

He thought he was dumping her but she said the words first. She thought he was going to propose to her but quickly realized it was going in the wrong direction and, being competitive, beat him to the punch line. He was confused. She was angry and confused. He looked at the ground and she imagined how she was going to call her friend and yell while drinking a glass of wine. Or can you call it a glass when it is over 8 ounces? He suddenly wished he hadn't opened up the can of "I don't love you" worms. She tried to think of everything hurtful she could say "I hope we can still be Face book Friends." "I hope you will still follow me on Twitter" " I'm guess I"m most upset that I can't borrow your brown sweater anymore" " I figured you would want to break up with me too since you could never please me sexually. Has that been a problem in all your relationships?" "Now my parents will stop worrying about my future."It worked perfectly. He was cut to the quick. With out realizing she had made it easier on him (he didn't have to take the blame for the break up and he now felt glad that he wasn't with such a bitch) and worse on herself (she ended a relationship when she was still in love with said male and she said lies that hurt said male). It was the break up. It was all wrong. It was not the end of any new beginning for her or weight lose program or freeing herself to meet Mr. right. It was just an ugly messy break up. If it had been a bone, say her femur, she would have needed to visit the OR before getting the cast on. Some doctor would have needed top stick the shattered bone back inside or maybe file down the rough points or stop the internal bleeding. Either way it was messy and would require a pretty massive copay.

When she went home the wine had gone bad and her friend wasn't home.