Are you okay?

Now that I'm drunk I can finally come clean. I was going to tell you I was gone on Friday, but I didn't want to hurt your feelings. I was going to tell you I bombed your house and took your car, but I didn't want to hurt your feelings. I wanted to tell you I'm the reason you're in this jail, but I didn't want you to think I'd betrayed you and then you'd get your feelings hurt, I know you are sensitive. I was going to tell you you'll be here for the duration of your life, but I didn't want to hurt your feelings. I didn't want to tell you all at once, because I know it's probably hurting your feelings. You are too sensitive.